Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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