I must be too annoying 4 u.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
