she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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