So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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