Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
