Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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