she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
