She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
