Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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