i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
third nipple confirmed
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
