what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
