Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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