No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
