I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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