Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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