she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
false alarm. still invincible.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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