you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
