No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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