Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
