You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
