Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
