i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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