Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
