that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
