so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
