There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
