four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize