Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
