I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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