oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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