I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
