i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
