I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
