I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have aggressive nipples.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
