hell yes lets make some ravioli
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
