I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
