Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
