Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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