maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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