Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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