We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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