hell yes lets make some ravioli
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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