I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
