Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
