I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We had to coat check the pizza.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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