U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You're a waste of cheezeits
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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