things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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