if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
