i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
