it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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