I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
