Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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