No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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