the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
