I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize