I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
