Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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