What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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