yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
After tacos, we're chasing women.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
