I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
