so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
