i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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