One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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