I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
