he wants to bone in the snuggie
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
