my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm at about main and main street
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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