we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
