Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize