...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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